Death to the HamHams!
by Gothic Mamo-chan
Summary: What happens when Sailor Moon is dropped off the air when Hamtaro's ratings plumetted, gore, violence, and blood and some sexuality, hance the rating...Please read and review those of appropriate age...Co-written with Deadly Goddess


C.M.G: Me and Gothic decided to write this story because we found out why Cartoon Network took off Sailor Moon. It was because of those damn Hamsters ! Go to SOS if ya wanna know. If you like Hamtaro then I suggest you not read this story. But if you like them and you flame me, I will put your review and let everyone laugh at your stupid ass for not listening!! FWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! O.O; anyway hope you guys enjoy it....*walks away mummbling something about sodas and candy in the morning*  
  
Gothic: .!!!!!!!!! I got pissed at the insolence of Toonami, how dare they kill Sailor Moon, which was more popular than Hamtaro!!!! Me and CMG wrote the DEATH TO THE HAM-HAMS!!!!  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Sailor Moon. And I especially don't own those damn annoying hamsters!  
  
  
  
  
  
Death To The Ham-Hams  
  
**************************** Chapter 1: Death to Boss and Oxnard ****************************  
  
We see Boss head down a dark alleyway, that Bijou bitch didn't want to contract any STD's from Boss so she sent him down to the store to buy condoms (since we live in a fucked up world) when Lo and Behold, a senshi dropped from the roof off a building and landed in front of Boss it was Mercury soon to follow were the rest, it was all the inners.  
  
Boss looked scared straight and was trying to run back but he was cornered, Mercury spoke  
  
"You, evil encarnate of Dubbed Queen Beryl, shall die by our hands" Boss tried to explain that he wasn't evil, but Mars cut him off saying, "Moon, Now!!" Usagi, as routine as always, took her tiara and sliced boss in half. Still alive he tried to speak, again A few feet away was...Oxnard He heard all the comossion and headed straight to his doom. He saw the senshi all ganging up on someone and spoke "Hello, is there any sunflower seeds here?" The senshi looked at Oxnard and let him have a nice bloody view of Boss. Boss, with all the strength he had told Oxnard to get away but the stupid dumbass asked if Boss had a sunflower seed (unknown to him he HAD A FUCKING SEED IN HIS HANDS!!!.!!) Tuxedo Kamen then landed on Oxnard, leaving a pool of hamster blood "Finish it Sailor Moon" He stated and Sailor Moon, then took out her staff and killed the son of a bitch!!  
  
  
  
  
  
*************************************************** Chapter 2: Death to Howdy and Dexter and Cappy **********************************************  
  
Dexter and Howdy were fighting like every other day when Uranus dropped in front of them. They looked at her and began screaming Uranus grew tired of their screaming and attacked them with World Shaking, Seeing that this attack still didnt shut them up Uranus took out her space sword and cut Howdy and Dexter in little Hamster kabobs. The outers arrived and Neptune looked at Uranus,  
  
"YOU COULDN'T WAIT FOR US!?" Neptune screeched. Uranus shrugged and began eating her Hamster kabbos  
  
Then Neptune saw a frying pan moving It was Cappy she slammed her foot on the pan, entrapping cappy inside the pan his foot cut off because it was too slow to get inside the damn pan they hear Cappy scream in pain neptune lets go of the pan and grabs the damn hamster by a paw and flings him toward Saturn, which then uses her Scythe to cut him to little peaces in the air. Saturn wiped the blood from the scythe and looked at Pluto. "You did good, little one. You did good." Said Pluto, who was now incinerating Cappy's remains  
  
***************************************** Chapter 3: Death To Pashmina and Stan *************************************  
  
Pashmina had taken Stan's proposal and decided to screw like hamsters (which they are) and left for the club house's bedroom. Inside they were, you know, and were making enough noise to wake the dead. Diana had gotten inside the tunnels and made her way to the club house to kill whichever hamster was there. Diana heard screaming and rammed through the door. Stan walked out of the bedroom with Pashmina attached to himself and saw the angry little kitty.  
  
"Oh, You're fucked now, little hamster!" Said Diana as she took a swipe at Pashmina, taking her head clean off. Stan was now mortified. He was, you know, a dead, headless ham-ham. He stood there, still attached to Pashmina while the angry kitty grabbed Stan with her mouth and began stripping Stan from his limbs. Blood ran from her mouth and she started licking her paw from the hamster blood.  
  
Diana walked away from the club house and towards the outside. When she got out, Luna and Artemis saw their daughter still covered in blood. They gave her a warm smile and licked all the blood off her coat.  
  
Panda made his way to the tunnels that lead to the club house when he saw three cats outside the tunnel entrance. One of the covered in blood.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Yelled Panda in shock and he ran in circles trying to figure out what to do. Luna and Artemis jumped at the scared shitless hamster and tore into his body. Luna had the head end and Artemis had the legs end. Panda was ripped in half by the two hungry cats, which in turn, swollowed the dead hamster. Luna cleaned Artemis coat from the blood as did Artemis to Luna.  
  
*************************************** Chapter 4: Death to Maxwell, Sandy and Jingle ***************************************  
  
JIngle was giving a free concert outside of the playground. Sandy and maxwell were the only ones there because Maxwell had asked Sandy out. Jingle was part of the date. "You know Sandy, we should have done this a long time ago." Said Maxwell as a-matter-of-fact. Sandy looked into Maxwell's hamster eyes and saw two figures walking up to them. Jingle's singing was cut short by a fire ball from one of the strangers.  
  
"You evil encarnates must die!!" Yelled the senshi of Mars. Venus, who was now gathering enough planetary power to use her Venus Love-Me Chain had her eyes on the two lovers.  
  
"I see that hamsters fall in love. I am the senshi of love, Sailor Venus. You both Hamsters will die!!!!!" having said this, venus unleashed her chain, killing Maxwell. Venus had a smile across her face as she followed up with another wip, this aimed at Sandy. Sandy's head was cut and was flying through the air.  
  
Mars and Venus walked away and were chatting about their kills. Mars slapped venus across the head for having killed two hamsters and Mars only one. They laughed it off and rejoined the group.  
  
************************************************** Chapter 5: Death to Hamtaro, Bijuo, Snoozer and Elder Ham **************************************************  
  
Chibi Sailor Moon is running to the park. On her way there she steps on a sleeping hamster but does not notice. Snoozer has just now been killed. She almost trips but regains her balance and keeps on running. She sees Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen looking down upon three hamsters who are cornered by the duo. Sailor Moon takes out her tiara and Kills the now- running Bijuo. Chibi Moon steps in front of her future mother. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Stop!!" Chibi Moon looks at her future parents and kneels down and takes Penelope into her hands. "OK, you can continue! ^-^"  
  
Elder Ham, who was taking a nap before, noticed the screaming and shouting of people and curiously walked to the scene of the action. Hamtaro was looking at Tuxedo Mask ready to fight him, not letting his fear show. "Whatever you're gonna do, it won't scare me. I'll fight you if I have to." Said Hamtaro to the male in black. Tuxedo Kamen just looked at him.  
  
"C'mon, Fight me!!" Shouted Hamtaro, flustered with anger. Tuxedo Kamen looked at him, not doing anything. Tuxedo Kamen slowly took out a rose and threw it at the angered hamster, slicing him in half.  
  
Seein this, the Elder Ham went into shock and died of a heart attack. Sailor Jupiter saw the hamster dying from a heart attack and decided to ressusitate him. She used her thunder as a shock paddle and revived him. He awoke thinking he was either sleeping or in heaven. He saw Makoto and though her to be an angel. She looked at him and raised her hands to her head.  
  
"SUPREME....THUNDER!!!!!!!!"  
  
A bolt of lightning came from the sky and struck the Elder Ham, frying him to a crisp. By now the rest of the senshi had gathered in the park, everyone was waiting for Jupiter. Jupiter bolted her way to her friends and left the park in a group singing a song.  
  
"Death to the ham-hams"  
  
C.M.G: We done!! We done!! yay ^-^!! *glomps Gothic* Please review and give lots of credit to Gothic cause he came up with most of the deaths ^.^ Isn't he kawaii? Do you wanna say anything be fore we leave?  
  
Gothic: If ya wanna blame someone for this, Blame me, GMC...CMG just went with it and helped write it, so flame me!! c'mon, flame me!! i dare ya!!  
  
C.M.G: Riiiiiiiight, flames will be punished!! Fwuahahahaha!! Now to our next bashing story!! *drags Gothic away while laughing evilly* 


End file.
